Resigned to the in-between

Hey.. kind of blah and just not feeling like anything is moving forward. I hate the hurry up and wait aspect of life and really hate when I feel like my life is suspended due to โ€ฆ

Pacing your way to Victory

Hey there. So I'm not really sure what this show was really supposed to be about. Seriously.. I honestly just wanted to talk to all of you and in the process answered a question I didn't โ€ฆ


Hey it's my birthday.. 57 years of life and guess what? I just started to understand what it is to live. Better NOW than later. Anyway enjoy the interview and my birthday introspection. โ€ฆ


New Year's Eve in Arizona. Out with the old and in with the new. Plus almost happy birthday to me. Let's Welcome Singapore and India to the posse. โ€ฆ

YOU are the gift the world needs

Ok.. so I had a couple of really bad days.. I let myself go there , (not on purpose) and dug myself out.. Each of us has the power to change ourselves in order to change our part of the โ€ฆ

Just another homeless hobo at Christmas

Another bad morning.. I hate being lied to as much as I hate this situation I put myself in. I don't know what God wants me to do anymore but contemplating my choice to live or die everyday โ€ฆ

The Christmas Black and Blues are right on time

Hey everyone. I was definitely going through it when I recorded this a few hours ago. Most of us go through some depression at this time if year I am no exception.. the lesson here is that โ€ฆ

The Christmas Gifts of Grace, Humility and Mercy

Hey.. it's a week out from Christmas. This is my attempt at a Christmas message. I love you .. All of you. May the spirit of the season fill you hope and love. STAY ALIVE YOU MATTER



Hi everyone.. so I survived Covid and my cruisemates which was more difficult than the virus... I talk about the mental health strain from being in โ€ฆ

Celebration Place cruise with The COVID

Guess who got Covid?? Yup. So just a quick catch up here about how much fun im having in quarantine and how I'm dealing with it. At least there's 4 of us quarantined together so the party โ€ฆ

Catch up Buffet

Hi. Yeah this is a show that started with no direction did a u-turn and wound up somewhere.. not sure where.. in summary glad we got through Thanksgiving, don't do things in grief, stay โ€ฆ

Breakdown Lane to the Future

I fill you guys in on this past week. A very hard week with decisions I didn't want to make or even face. Dorm issues and irresponsible people that are driving me crazier. I also touch on โ€ฆ

God, Suicide and the Miracle Deer

You know those days when you just don't know how you're gonna get through it? Yeah it started out like that but it won't be ending like that. My transition into the safe house has become โ€ฆ

The First Days of the Flagstaff Saga

I fill you guys in on my first week of being displaced in Flagstaff AZ. It's not as awful as it sounds considering I chose this over the Hell of โ€ฆ


Hey hey hey.. After a 2 week vacation at the White Mountains most luxurious spa I'm back.. No suicide or anything crazy like that just a breakdown. I've relocated for a bit in AZ.. maybe โ€ฆ

You have to save your own life

It's been a minute guys sorry. I lost track of time during this eviction process. I'm still at the StarGate so there's your clue as to how it went ๐Ÿ˜Ž. Been a year today from when I heard โ€ฆ

Is It Real or is it Memorex Matrix Style?

So I've been served eviction papers. Which I am looking at as if my soul is being returned to me right what's that all about. Not sure. But either โ€ฆ


hey everyone.. still above ground. Things are as weird as you could imagine and maybe I am in some form of long form delusion.. not sure. Rock โ€ฆ

And then God told me to listen to him..So I did.

Hey. I've really been going through it here in the ghetto. Pending eviction death threats macing of Peanut and being led by God the whole time. The โ€ฆ

The DOC Show. A tribute to the dog that saved me.

It's hard to believe it's been a year since Doc completed his mission and moved on. This is a brief history of my Boo Bah and how he changed my life. Also a very brief rundown on my โ€ฆ

I FEEL GOOD. AKA the woo woo edition

I fill you guys in on how I shifted that negative mindset from last week of feeling like the world was against me to maybe it wasn't the whole โ€ฆ

๐ŸฐJust say NO to that rabbit hole๐Ÿฐ

I'm having a big bump in my stability due to forces beyond my control.. What I can control I am.. Asking for emotional help and guidance from those โ€ฆ

How Much Thought does the Thought Leader Think??

Hey there... I'm not struggling as badly as I have been the past few months but you know there is always something that gets way back burnered while were ill.. For me it's the dishes.. Ugh! โ€ฆ

I'm NOT playing games for the record.

Yup.. The place I live in is playing games and my behavioural health place may have lobotomized it's staff. Both are super bad for my mental health stability.. Does it seem like all the โ€ฆ

C'mon Lets Get (h)APPY. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

We're getting an App.. Like US.. This community.. I WANT YOUR INPUT.. Please help me develop something that changes how we interact with our diagnosis and each other.. Then I kind of โ€ฆ


Well it starts out as a recap of mothers day and why i didn't do a show.. Some childhood trauma history revealed.. Then it starts morphing like โ€ฆ


Cleaning up some leftover thoughts and putting some closure on things I might have mentioned but never finished telling you the outcome. I'm trying really hard to keep it together guys... โ€ฆ

As it Should Be. Thriving with Bipolar Lessons 9 -15

Not everything works out the way you want it to.. I'm not sure I ever really wanted this but I did put effort into it... Being a sell out did bother me though.. So in conclusion it all โ€ฆ

Your Gain....Listenables Loss. Thriving with Bipolar Lessons 6-8

Just say No if it feels wrong. But you guys wouldn't get the course for Free if I hadn't tried. Unedited course..lmao. Lesson 6 - Therapy. Lesson 7 - โ€ฆ

Listenables Loss is Your Gain. Thriving with Bipolar Lessons 1-5

You know if something feels wrong for you at the get go just say NO. After months of bullsh*t and angst and a green light Listenable pulled the plug โ€ฆ

You ARE who you think yourself to BECOME with SEV. Part 2.

Part 2 with Sev. We get into hypnosis,hypnotherapy and quantum leaping into the life you want. We also discuss further the manifestation of lack and how you might be doing this without โ€ฆ


Big Sarge and I discuss his honorable/virtuous military career and the havoc it created on his mental health - including suicidal ideation. How he has sought and received help while on โ€ฆ

The STIGMATIZED States of America

I'm making a big deal about the exclusion of people receiving disability from this round of stimulus checks and how the American govt lied to us. โ€ฆ


Severine and I speak about the collateral damage of. Maladaptive parents, a teen-aged suicide attempt, not knowing what you don't know until you know โ€ฆ

Oh.. Hey COVID still here huh?? And other short stories..

Issues with my medication.. An anniversary we might be experiencing in our sub consciousness coming out in a minor physical way or just kind of off.. It's a real thing. Be kind to yourself โ€ฆ


Michelle and I discuss what it's like living in a home with a bi polar parent. Her book #Breakingintomylife. Her Culture of Compassion workplace โ€ฆ


Heres a copy of my audio prerecord for my speech RETIRE THE STIGMA @podfest GLOBAL SUMMIT... We can do this folks. As a community.


Send in a โ€ฆ


It's Christopher's birthday... I couldnt let the day go by without a tribute to my first and loudest cheerleader Christopher Richmond aka. my Bris. โ€ฆ

The Overnight Meltdown Report

Im not as ok as I think I am. Stress is a mortal enemy. I talk about a momentary (I hope) relapse into maladaptive coping skills and how I hope to prevent this in the future. Use Code โ€ฆ


I have a conversation with Clisver about her life with Bipolar Disorder . We discuss her " POSITIVITY PASS IT ON Movement and her certified Mindset โ€ฆ


Im trying to remember shit and it's just not happening.. I have exciting news about my role as a speaker at @PODFEST GLOBAL SUMMIT and My continuing โ€ฆ

CHOOSE WISELY - Your Future depends on it.

I talk about how fickle people are here. How my "friend" threw me over for a bag of weed and lost an opportunity she didn't even realize I was going to give her. I tell you guys about my โ€ฆ

Torment in the Ghetto

I talk about an episode of panic and rage I had last night after learning the trailer park I live in is banning pit bulls. My Peanut is ESA so I try โ€ฆ


I have a conversation with SWITCH. Vancouver Island's soon to be breakout hip hop star. We talk meds addiction in patient stays etc. You know all the good shit. Find him on Spotify or on โ€ฆ


We Made It. I Am So Proud of every single one of you. We pulled it off. *sigh* My birthday interview with SWITCH tomorrow. Instagram @switchb. โ€ฆ

Ho Ho Bah Humbug Christmas with a special appearance by SANTA

It's CHRISTMAS.. yay or thank goodness it's almost over. Listen to me talk myself out of a crap mood into a hope for a better 2021. Thanks to Santa Aka Joel Christopher Payne for the โ€ฆ

๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹Holy STIGMA Batman๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹

I'm livid after a Facebook back and forth with a "friend" of 9 years goes feral regarding the difference between a "normal" hospitalization and a mental health hospitalization. Ignorance is โ€ฆ

Let's Be Honest

I talk about Grief Therapy and how I'm healing from losing Doc and Bris. I kind of go on a little rant about newbie podcasters which segways into why โ€ฆ


Im BACK.. I fill you guys in about my breakdown, hospitalization and slow return to the new normal of life. Theres some talk about acceptance and underding of Bris's suicide . Im gonna be โ€ฆ

Let's ride the Bi - Polar coaster..

mental health month. self care self esteem and being kind. Intro song: Dinosaur Jr. - Whatever's Cool with me. Outro song - Let's Active - Badger




why I really want to help.. plus text chat crisis line and suicide prevention number. Intro song: Van Halen - Right Now. Outro Song : Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now


Send in a voice โ€ฆ


is this good or bad for me as my relationship is hitting a curb. Intro song: REM - Fall on Me Outro song: REM - One I love. #scottward. #scottedwardward #scottwardaz


Send in a voice โ€ฆ

I blew it this month

how my depression took over my life. a little about December and my letdown about "friends". still picking up the mess from December. Intro song: Robyn Hitchcok - Cathedral. Outro song: โ€ฆ


Scott money abandonment trazadone night terrors intro song: Hole - Doll Parts. Outro song: Depeche Mode - Never let me down


Send in a voice โ€ฆ


More on meds... Overdosing. Death and closure. Intro song: Yelawolf - Til it's gone. Outro song : Dinosaur Jr - Not you again


Send in a voice โ€ฆ

This is why we take our meds.

Why I went inpatient in March. Delusional thinking. Medication non compliance. And the Psych ward. Intro song: Earth wind& Fire - September. Outro song: The Posies - Dream all Day



Frenemies and a Goat

People I should not associate with. Intro song: Third eye blind - semi charmed life. Outro song: Yelawolf - Trailer park Hollywood


Send in a voice โ€ฆ

Liars and you

A lowdown on my week since the near sexually assault. Also hitting 2000 and getting up and running. Intro song: Jigsaw - Sky โ€ฆ

Dumbest in the Room

I spill the truth on the last night I will ever spend with #scottward. Apple Charts #1 in Mongolia.. #thankyoumongolia #Mongolia Intro song - Guided โ€ฆ

SEASON 3 : The Show Must Go On

I thank my loyal audience for sticking it out with me. I honor my past co host Doc and my cheerleader Bris for probably not the last time. I give you a sneak peek into the future of my โ€ฆ

How Legacies Are Built with: JACOB THORNTON

I speak with Jacob Thornton about his life with High Functioning Autism. We talk medications.. suicide and marathoning. Expect to be surprised and learn a little something. Jacob's โ€ฆ

Some Infinities are bigger than others..

I try to memorialize my best friend Bris after a tragic accident. Catch up on the escape from Overgaard. R.I.P.CHRISTOPHER RICHMOND. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER +1


Send in a voice โ€ฆ

I apologize Christopher Tuff - The Millenial whisperer -panic attack or not I blew it.

I no showed on a guest. Worst behavior to show a guest ...but.... I legitimately panicked... For hours... I then talk my stress related delusions into reality... This is a *kid focused* โ€ฆ

Sleep, What's that?

I talk about how my lack of sleep is affecting me.. How my BPD gives me permission to punish myself. My apology to Bris and Austin from Don't worry โ€ฆ


Tommy and I discuss what it takes to live a life with integrity and purpose. We talk about forgiveness , unconditional love, hope, Books and dogs .


Send in a โ€ฆ

We're all a little bit the same with ERIC KUSSIN

Eric and I discuss the many facets of the mental health institution including psychotropics, ECT, EMDR. We touch on suicidal ideation, agorophobia, stigma and how trauma can be a catalyst โ€ฆ

RAE DU SOLEIL brings light to the future of mental health

RAE and I discuss her contributions towards the advancements of breaking the stigma around having a mental health diagnosis. We also discuss her music and new album and how gen z may not be โ€ฆ

๐ŸŒ“ GOODBYE means: I love you. ๐ŸŒ“

3 unexpected incidents this week that shook my soul... Shout out to #chriscox for his interview. Shout out #Ireland. Listening to Firefall - just โ€ฆ


David woods BARTLEY and I discuss suicide depression molestation and how conscience connection. Can heal. Also an animal analogy story or. three. โ€ฆ


A little about Kobe Bryant and grief occurring from sports news. Off meds...manic.. Restricted numbers and delusion...My appearances on Causepods with Matthew Passey and Threads Podcast : โ€ฆ

BAD AUDIO made me do it

I apologize for bad audio. Discuss what could have been a career ender all while rapid cycling.. I get props for that. I also highlight some changes โ€ฆ

It's FREE to be kind

* there are some sound issues ... I apologize. I promise not to mess with the mic in future shows.. * I talk about Jesus, feral cats , suicide and โ€ฆ


Tracey and I discuss bullying - adult and childhood - and the ramifications. Bullycide and Suicide and Depression. Tracey intro song - โ€ฆ

I am seriously losing my shit...

Depression set up house right in front of me. Didn't see it until a trip to The home Depot. Meltdown Day Extraordinary.. Intro song - Dire Straits - Skateaway. Outro song - Toad the Wet โ€ฆ


I speak with Estelle California about oppression childhood TRAUMA music life and the fine art of learning to love yourself. Intro song - Estelle California - STAR. Outro Song - Estelle โ€ฆ

Almost There - Christmas Depression and Reflection

Update on the whole hotel abandonment thing #scottward. My depression battle continues and Christmas. Intro song - Stone Temple Pilots - Sour Girl. โ€ฆ

Not happening , today.

Hi Everyone. The holidays are here events cancellation time is here. Crying, guilt and shame won't help anyone through these situations. Maybe this โ€ฆ


I talk to Jaxon.about Baseball wrestling and sibling grief after the loss of his sister Rachel to suicide. We discuss his project YOU ARE LOVED and โ€ฆ

๐ŸŽ™ 1 0 0 0 ๐ŸŽ™

Hit the 1000 listen milestone. Thank you all! Plus a quick catchup with my life. Intro song: N.E.R.D &Future - 1000. Outro song: Rob Bailey and the Hustle Standard


Send in a voice โ€ฆ

Boobs + Mental Health = Joanie DiCampli Interview

I talk with Joanie about being a parent of a child with a dual diagnosis and how her product Boobalicious is changing lives. Intro song: The who- squeezebox. Outro song: The Beatles- I get โ€ฆ


Interview with Scott Silverman for national mental health day. We discuss suicide survival ,dual diagnosis, the opioid epidemic and other stuff. with some tech issues thrown in. INTRO SONG: โ€ฆ

SPECIAL. EDITION ๐Ÿ’ฅ JOKER REVIEW ๐Ÿ’ฅ (I cried for Joker)

My review of the movie Joker . ****SPOILER ALERTS MAJOR PARTS OF PLOT GIVEN****** INTRO SONG: Smokey Robinson - Tears of a Clown. OUTRO SONG: Iron Maiden - Tears of a Clown. #joker


coming into my own

Womanifestation course. money and business. Magnolia the elephant and Doc the dog. Scott. Intro song: Clyde Carson - Slow Down. Outro Song: Chicago - โ€ฆ

Out of the UnderWorld with Leanna Anderson

1st interview with Leanna Anderson regarding bipolar, schizophrenia affective disorder and holistic approaches to stabilization. Intro song: World โ€ฆ

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